so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
