Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
