I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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