no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
