How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
