He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
