just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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