Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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