The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
