Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize