a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize