i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
