You work out of a Hotel?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
