Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
