you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize