First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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