I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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