why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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