in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
