You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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