Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am in a vortex of obligation.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You made out with two different species that night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
