So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
