I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she smelled like a LAN party
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
