you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So apparently I’m into choking now
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
