My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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