So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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