I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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