I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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