is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
even my farts smell like vagina
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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