White coat. Heels.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize