Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
