You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
