how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
