if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
