the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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