Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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