just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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