What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
