I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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