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perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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