this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
