hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
