How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
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