I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
