If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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