Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
