I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
