I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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