she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
