Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
