dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
