Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
