Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
