I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
