Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
