Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
