hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
