i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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