Plan B is the new Plan A
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Congratulations! We have a period
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