Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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