Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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