I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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