No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
