God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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