you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hippo gnu deer
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
