hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize