Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize