Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
