I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just invented taco cereal.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
